I am an ADOPTED BIRTH MOTHER!!!

There are alot of things in life that some people are just much better off not knowing... I think I have finally discovered the reason God sent my life on a drasctic turn in 2003.

 I have just returned from the March for life in Washington, D.C., and I am more than speechless as to the experience of seeing hundreds of thousands of people standing up for the RIGHT of all babies to LIFE outside the womb!!! I was honored to march along side people of all ages, faiths, ethnicities, backgrounds, and countries (* yes there were people there from Australia and France bc they dont have anything like this is their native countries), and make known that " a person is a person, no matter how small".(horton hears a who) For those of you who dont know, I am adopted. Not just me, but my brother and sister as well. Its been amazing looking back at my life, and realizing that I could have not been here. That my birth mother didnt have to make the choice she did. I sit in awe of the AMAZING power of God bc He  HAND PICKED me to be born for my parents. I have such love for my birth mother, a woman named Johanna that I have never met, Bc she had the courage and the guts to STAND UP for me, when my voice couldnt be heard. She had the faith to know that she wasnt ready to be a parent, and SELFLESSLY gave a piece of her heart away to people she didnt know, ALL FOR ME, so that I could have the chance to become someone! THere are no words big enough or GREAT enough to say "thank you". I am who I am in big part to her, and in big part to my parents, who waited 12 years to get me!!!

Now for my story.

At 17 years old, I was a freshman in college and SOOOOO not ready to be away from home and have the freedoms that being away at college brings. I was a partier to the fullest extent. I gave up on school, and focused on what party I was going to and WHO I was going home with. Needless to say, that lasted about  6 weeks before a pretty little +sign appeared on my pee stick. *now as a side note here: the last 2 things my parents said to me, jokingly, were dont call us and tell us you are pregnant, and dont call us from jail bc we are NOT coming to get you.* So, I wrote them an email. CAN YOU IMAGINE waking up to reading an email like that. I knew the day I found out I was pregant that I wasnt ready to be a parentt, although I knew that was what God was calling me to be, eventually...I knew this baby was not meant to be mine. How did I know? BC of my own birth mother, who knew I wasnt meant to be hers either! I told my parents in that email that I was going to give the baby up for adoption. I knew the blessing this baby would bring to a family who went through the same struggle to have kids as my parents did. It was an honor in the end. Joseph Michael Rigel was born June 23, 2003! He was the most awesome thing I had ever laid eyes on. PERFECT in everyway, but not mine! I remember those 2 days in the hospital after he was born and I never let him go! I loved Him like my own, knowing that he wasnt going to be. I dreaded what was going to happen to me in just 2 short days, probably much like Jesus dreaded what He knew was going to happen to Him, yet He did it anyway, and gave me strength too! After 7 days in foster care, I laid eyes on this AMAZING little boy for the last time...I was the one who put him in his mothers arms. I say the tears of joy that fell from her cheeks in apprecation for the gift of Life I had given to them. IT MADE EVERY HEART WRENCHING MOMENT to come...WORTH IT!!! I saw in her eyes the joy and healing that comes from DOING THE RIGHT THING! I saw in that moment, the happiness and fulfillment of doing God's will above my own...and it paid off BIG TIME!!

I will never regret my decision to give Joseph up for adoption, nor was abortion ever an option for me. I know that there are thousands of women faced everyday with the decision I made, and I know how they feel. ALONE, SCARED, BETRAYED! they sit in the abortion clinics all across this GREAT counrty of ours thinking how did I get here?, wondeirng if someone BRAVE ENOUGH is going to walk through the door, and save them from the LIFETIME of REGRET they are about to embark on. I WILL BE THAT PERSON!!! I am no longer AFRAID of sharing my story, and I want the world to know that GREAT THINGS COME FROM DOING WHAT GOD EXPECTS of us!!

I was rewarded for my decision. I have 2 great kids who I love, and I have a great relationship with Josephs parents. I think someday soon I will meet the young man who grew in my womb, and I will cry tears of joy!!!
I know he will hold a special place in my heart FOREVER bc he saved my life, and bc HE is one of a few who know what my heart sounds like from the inside... and thats something I wont ever forget!!!