" For this child I prayed; and the Lord has granted me the petition that I made to Him"
~ 1 Samuel 1:27
I just wanted to blog some JOYOUS thoughts! Thanks to an AMAZING meeting on Monday with some of my most favorite Catholic women, I am having a much better time MOTHERING my children. We talked about patience. What is it? How do we use it? Do we heed God's call to be patient with others as he is with us?
It has really stuck with me the last 3 days, and I must say that I have yet to loose my temper this week. Max has definatly been his usual 4 year old self, and I have tried very hard to imagine God standing there speaking through me to my son. I am writing this mostly because I have realzied that I have NO FEAR about having 3 children. I was very nervous about having 2...and it struck me that this Verse from 1 Samuel..sums it up! Although I have to very energetic kids already...for this child I did pray. I feel God's amazing Grace all over me right now, and I am so thankful that we prayerfully decided to try and have another baby. The emense joy can not be overshadowed by doubt or fear or ...well, ANYTHING!
I continue each day to thank the Lord, for the gift of children, and I am so THANKFUL for amazing, faithfilled Catholic Mothers to help guide my YOUNG faith steps! Thank you Lord for blessing me with these women, and their ever encouraging faith in YOU!!!
~The End
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Baby Mayo #3!
we are very pleased to announce that...WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!! our newest bundle of baby joy will be here July 2011!!
I am super excited for a few reasons
1) We "tried" for 7 months and finally had success!!!
2)Being due in July makes me hopeful that the baby could be born on my Nana's birthday of July 13th!! what a great blessing!
3)MIKE WILL BE HOME IN TIME!! Looking back over our 7 months of trying to concieve, I realize now that this cycle was the right one. Mike will be here. I realize now that having 38 day cycles had a reason, and I am so thankful for God for always knowing what is best for us, even when we dont. He knew we wanted a baby, and brought us one is His prefect timing.
4)Being a mother of 3 is going to be so rewarding. I look forward to being a super busy mom. I enjoy being a super busy mom, sometimes LOL!!!
we are so excited to meet this new little person, and are looking so forward to the coming months!! Thank you Jesus for your countless blessings on our family!
I am super excited for a few reasons
1) We "tried" for 7 months and finally had success!!!
2)Being due in July makes me hopeful that the baby could be born on my Nana's birthday of July 13th!! what a great blessing!
3)MIKE WILL BE HOME IN TIME!! Looking back over our 7 months of trying to concieve, I realize now that this cycle was the right one. Mike will be here. I realize now that having 38 day cycles had a reason, and I am so thankful for God for always knowing what is best for us, even when we dont. He knew we wanted a baby, and brought us one is His prefect timing.
4)Being a mother of 3 is going to be so rewarding. I look forward to being a super busy mom. I enjoy being a super busy mom, sometimes LOL!!!
we are so excited to meet this new little person, and are looking so forward to the coming months!! Thank you Jesus for your countless blessings on our family!
Deployment!
so here we are... 48 hours in, and I am very surprised at how EMOTIONAL I am. I really thought the anxiety over Mike leaving was going to be the worst part of deployment. The anticpation of the final goodbye, hug, kiss..is nothing compared to the agony I feel over...is he sick, tired, lonely, depressed, scared, hungry, homesick. I am finding myself dwealing several times a day over "what is he doing now?" or "how awful Kryjikistan must be". I am truly uneasy with Mike being gone, moreso than I expected, but isnt that the definition of deployment? Expecting everything unexpected. I am not sure if its because I am realizing how much danger he is in, or if its beacuse I feel really guilty for Mike having to be over there at all, considering he is beacuse he is taking care of myself and the kids. I think I am going to address the latter issue first!
I really didnt expect the guilt I would feel over Mike having to go overseas. I know its his job, but it is a job he does to take care of us, not because he enjoys it so much anymore. I recall March 2010 when we were stumped as to what we were going to do for income and how we were going to make ends meet. I feel as though I convinced him to extend in the Navy so that at least we would have a year to be prepared for unemployment. Now, I cant help but realize that WE are the reason he is in Afganistan. His own family...how could we do this to him? There arent a whole lot of words except those. Could I have done more to keep him from having to extend? Should I have commited to job searching more for him? if we stuck to our budget better, would he even be there at all? I know this may sound silly to some, like how could I feel gulity about my husband working, but I really do. ANY MILITARY WIFE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN!!!! its not just a job, its a life, and did I knowingly put my husband in danger because I wanted to stay at home? Now, please understand, that Mike has not made me feel this way. I am doing this to myself. My amazing husband selflessly gives up his life to fight for a country and family he believes in. He drives 120 miles a day to a job he is not happy with for a family he loves. He gets up at 4am and home at 8pm 5 days a week for a family he loves. He is EVEN willing to lay down his life for a family he loves, and expects himself to take the best care that he can of that family. Being in the Navy does that. Unfortunately, it doesnt keep my mind from wondering if there had been better way. If there had been a better way to provide without Mike having to miss births, birthdays, holidays, family time, etdc?? I am almost positive I am really just venting about all this so please bear with me!
The second reason I am so overwhelmed and truly worried is because Mike REALLY is in danger. Where he is located, no one US Military related has been yet. He will be building his own houses/tents, communication lines, supply lines, and baciscally making himself a MEAGER home in the middle of nowhere. I dont know the right words to use to express the emotional side of this fact. Its more than just " my husband is in danger". its more than " he might get hurt". Its HE REALLY MIGHT NOT COME BACK. How do i not allow this thought to cripple my heart. Its realzing that a complete part of your very existence might never be part of you again. Its more than my half my heart. Its HALF MY SOUL. I firmly believe that Mike is my soul mate and with him being over there, half my soul is over there too!! Its realizing that I put half my soul in danger, unknowingly, because lets be honest....none of this would have occured to me BEFORE deployment. How do you say goodbye knowing it really might be that last time you ever see each other? While I believe whole-heartedly in God's ultimate plan, and I do believe that He would not have blessed us with a new baby and never have Mike see that baby...that doesnt make me right. God's ultimate plan could be very different from that. How do I accept this fate even if its God's ultimate will? I believe that hardest part is not knowing the answer, and isnt that always the hardest part of waiting for God's timing?
I take solice and comfort in my amazing family and friends, who will walk this path with me daily. I know you all will watch me fall down and fall down again much as Jesus did. I have no doubt that my resilience will waver, but I know through prayer that God's ultimate will is best for us all. I am so blessed with faith filled friends who will pray with me, and guide me when I do waver. Its uplifting just to remeber that. I ask you all, whoever reads this, to WHOLE-HEARTEDLY keep my family in your prayers, and pray for Mike's safe return. Its all we can afford him, and what he needs the most!
its been 48 hours, only 2347664598643398 hours to go....
I really didnt expect the guilt I would feel over Mike having to go overseas. I know its his job, but it is a job he does to take care of us, not because he enjoys it so much anymore. I recall March 2010 when we were stumped as to what we were going to do for income and how we were going to make ends meet. I feel as though I convinced him to extend in the Navy so that at least we would have a year to be prepared for unemployment. Now, I cant help but realize that WE are the reason he is in Afganistan. His own family...how could we do this to him? There arent a whole lot of words except those. Could I have done more to keep him from having to extend? Should I have commited to job searching more for him? if we stuck to our budget better, would he even be there at all? I know this may sound silly to some, like how could I feel gulity about my husband working, but I really do. ANY MILITARY WIFE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN!!!! its not just a job, its a life, and did I knowingly put my husband in danger because I wanted to stay at home? Now, please understand, that Mike has not made me feel this way. I am doing this to myself. My amazing husband selflessly gives up his life to fight for a country and family he believes in. He drives 120 miles a day to a job he is not happy with for a family he loves. He gets up at 4am and home at 8pm 5 days a week for a family he loves. He is EVEN willing to lay down his life for a family he loves, and expects himself to take the best care that he can of that family. Being in the Navy does that. Unfortunately, it doesnt keep my mind from wondering if there had been better way. If there had been a better way to provide without Mike having to miss births, birthdays, holidays, family time, etdc?? I am almost positive I am really just venting about all this so please bear with me!
The second reason I am so overwhelmed and truly worried is because Mike REALLY is in danger. Where he is located, no one US Military related has been yet. He will be building his own houses/tents, communication lines, supply lines, and baciscally making himself a MEAGER home in the middle of nowhere. I dont know the right words to use to express the emotional side of this fact. Its more than just " my husband is in danger". its more than " he might get hurt". Its HE REALLY MIGHT NOT COME BACK. How do i not allow this thought to cripple my heart. Its realzing that a complete part of your very existence might never be part of you again. Its more than my half my heart. Its HALF MY SOUL. I firmly believe that Mike is my soul mate and with him being over there, half my soul is over there too!! Its realizing that I put half my soul in danger, unknowingly, because lets be honest....none of this would have occured to me BEFORE deployment. How do you say goodbye knowing it really might be that last time you ever see each other? While I believe whole-heartedly in God's ultimate plan, and I do believe that He would not have blessed us with a new baby and never have Mike see that baby...that doesnt make me right. God's ultimate plan could be very different from that. How do I accept this fate even if its God's ultimate will? I believe that hardest part is not knowing the answer, and isnt that always the hardest part of waiting for God's timing?
I take solice and comfort in my amazing family and friends, who will walk this path with me daily. I know you all will watch me fall down and fall down again much as Jesus did. I have no doubt that my resilience will waver, but I know through prayer that God's ultimate will is best for us all. I am so blessed with faith filled friends who will pray with me, and guide me when I do waver. Its uplifting just to remeber that. I ask you all, whoever reads this, to WHOLE-HEARTEDLY keep my family in your prayers, and pray for Mike's safe return. Its all we can afford him, and what he needs the most!
its been 48 hours, only 2347664598643398 hours to go....
Saturday, August 14, 2010
post partum Part 2...LIFE!!!
welll, Im not sure I am over my depression, but I am better! I am energized, and trying my best to keep the kids busy during the day!!! Mike has a month of leave so I think that will help too!!!
Right now, I am really trying to get ready for the fall. We have so many big things happening in the next 3 months. Mike is deploying Nov. 5-9, My birthday is in 3 weeks, Max;s birthday is in 2 months, Bella turns one a few weeks after that on Thanksgiving...and we are moving back to Charlotte. Im now trying to get Max ready for school, repaint, pack, take care of Bella, do my own school, get Mike ready, mix in family time, balance the checkbook...... I dont know if I can get it all done! Now, I know some of you think I am super woman (lol), but I am not up for all this right now. I really just want to be lazy...AAARRGGGGHHH!!!
So the other day I decided to take control of the chaos that is my life...I am much more productive when I am BUSY...so despite the complaning, I am happy! I have started my day in prayer, and I am eating better. My goal...LOOOSE 100LBS by the time Mike comes back...I know I can do it, despite wanting to sit down and cry about how awful I look right now! I know I can get all my packing done, but I just dont want to do it....LOL!!! how do other moms keep the smile on their faces...i dont want to smile! I want to cry!
Im not sure where this post was going, maybe it was just a vent, but its all the thoughts in my head for now...i just need a hug from a mom who gets this stress...im not sure I am handling it very well, despite my new found faith that I can get it all done...
onto TOMORROW!!
Right now, I am really trying to get ready for the fall. We have so many big things happening in the next 3 months. Mike is deploying Nov. 5-9, My birthday is in 3 weeks, Max;s birthday is in 2 months, Bella turns one a few weeks after that on Thanksgiving...and we are moving back to Charlotte. Im now trying to get Max ready for school, repaint, pack, take care of Bella, do my own school, get Mike ready, mix in family time, balance the checkbook...... I dont know if I can get it all done! Now, I know some of you think I am super woman (lol), but I am not up for all this right now. I really just want to be lazy...AAARRGGGGHHH!!!
So the other day I decided to take control of the chaos that is my life...I am much more productive when I am BUSY...so despite the complaning, I am happy! I have started my day in prayer, and I am eating better. My goal...LOOOSE 100LBS by the time Mike comes back...I know I can do it, despite wanting to sit down and cry about how awful I look right now! I know I can get all my packing done, but I just dont want to do it....LOL!!! how do other moms keep the smile on their faces...i dont want to smile! I want to cry!
Im not sure where this post was going, maybe it was just a vent, but its all the thoughts in my head for now...i just need a hug from a mom who gets this stress...im not sure I am handling it very well, despite my new found faith that I can get it all done...
onto TOMORROW!!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
post-partum
yes its truly been a while... we moved and I can say that I like it, but its not home!
Mike is set to deploy again in OCT/NOV, and I am dreading it! I re enrolled in school, medical billing, and love it! Hoping to double our income beginning next year! Mike is thinking about getting out of the military this time 2011, and although we are scared, we really believe its in the best interest of our family!
SPEAKING OF FAMILY...can i tell you all how bad I have baby fever!! In the midst of what I think it post partum depression, my heart is aching for another child. I know that waiting another year is best, but I cant shake the unwavering desire for a child in my womb...why is it that God will give you the desire and will for another baby only to have you realize that waiting another year is best? On top of that, Max keeps asking me EVERYDAY when we are going to have another baby...HMMM??? is this a sign??? I dont think it is, but If everyone on the planet is having baby, Im pretty sure I know them all! I also positive that this post is a vent for so many reasons. I love NFP, truly in my heart , but now that I am aware of whats actually going on, I feel like i have a double edged sword. For the first time in my life, its OK for me to have a baby...Im married, financially stable, with a loving husband and a house etc...and NOW i have to wait...WHY??? I cant shake the jealousy I have been felling towards my friends that are pregnant. My heart truly hurts for even admitting it, but I have AMAZING friends! I know that everything will happen in Gods time, but i am truly having a hard time WAITING for it.
As far as the depression goes, Im pretty sure its been slowing coming on for a few weeks. I think its a combination of being tried of being over weight, and hating the way i look and feel about myself, and post partum. I am not sure I know how to work through it, but I do not have any bad thoughts or scary ideas about what I might do to my children...no worries! Im just kid of BLAH...i am mad that Im sooooo unhealthy and all that makes me wanna do it eat. Im sad that Im not pregnant, but being pregnant already being as heavy as I am....is a bad idea. Bells is still nursing full time, and Im PRETTY sure is GOds way of telling me its not time for another baby! I just dont want to do anything. I noticed that I am overly seeking the approval of my friends to boost my esteem, a sure sign of depression for me...so what do I do?? how to I cope without being dragged further into with the monotony of being a stay at home mom...I tried excercising but truly it made me more irritable bc i was even more tired...I just cant shake this one!
ho hum...i think im gonna go cry for a bit
Mike is set to deploy again in OCT/NOV, and I am dreading it! I re enrolled in school, medical billing, and love it! Hoping to double our income beginning next year! Mike is thinking about getting out of the military this time 2011, and although we are scared, we really believe its in the best interest of our family!
SPEAKING OF FAMILY...can i tell you all how bad I have baby fever!! In the midst of what I think it post partum depression, my heart is aching for another child. I know that waiting another year is best, but I cant shake the unwavering desire for a child in my womb...why is it that God will give you the desire and will for another baby only to have you realize that waiting another year is best? On top of that, Max keeps asking me EVERYDAY when we are going to have another baby...HMMM??? is this a sign??? I dont think it is, but If everyone on the planet is having baby, Im pretty sure I know them all! I also positive that this post is a vent for so many reasons. I love NFP, truly in my heart , but now that I am aware of whats actually going on, I feel like i have a double edged sword. For the first time in my life, its OK for me to have a baby...Im married, financially stable, with a loving husband and a house etc...and NOW i have to wait...WHY??? I cant shake the jealousy I have been felling towards my friends that are pregnant. My heart truly hurts for even admitting it, but I have AMAZING friends! I know that everything will happen in Gods time, but i am truly having a hard time WAITING for it.
As far as the depression goes, Im pretty sure its been slowing coming on for a few weeks. I think its a combination of being tried of being over weight, and hating the way i look and feel about myself, and post partum. I am not sure I know how to work through it, but I do not have any bad thoughts or scary ideas about what I might do to my children...no worries! Im just kid of BLAH...i am mad that Im sooooo unhealthy and all that makes me wanna do it eat. Im sad that Im not pregnant, but being pregnant already being as heavy as I am....is a bad idea. Bells is still nursing full time, and Im PRETTY sure is GOds way of telling me its not time for another baby! I just dont want to do anything. I noticed that I am overly seeking the approval of my friends to boost my esteem, a sure sign of depression for me...so what do I do?? how to I cope without being dragged further into with the monotony of being a stay at home mom...I tried excercising but truly it made me more irritable bc i was even more tired...I just cant shake this one!
ho hum...i think im gonna go cry for a bit
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
the BIG move!!
for those of you that arent aware that Mike and I have been going through a CRAZY time with being out of work...WE HAVE!!! God has finally put a light at the end of our tunnel. I prayed so much and even left my children with a not so confident husband ( capable but not confident) , listened to my baby SCREAMING over the phone, heard the horror stories of Mike's day and sweated my behind off in a warehouse for 12 hours a day, all to make sure that if we were going to be out of work, we had money coming in!! WE WERE MISERABLE!!! just a side note, my husband, who is really amazing, and does laundry, TRULY appreciates what I do as a stay at home mom~!!!
OK back to the story! Mike's contract with the Navy expired April 21, 2010! He tried to switch branches but apparnetly the recruiters we were working with didnt want the bonus of signing people, and just werent moving fast enough! So Mike tried to re-enlist in the Navy for 15 months, pending a promotion and aquiring another FMF pin ( dont ask me what that is beacuse I dont know). WELL, the Navy didnt want to let him do that, simply put, if he didnt achieve both of those things they would have to pay $20,000 BIG ONES come next july!!! I think thats a fair deal!!! I cant even describe the stress we were under, mostly bc of the healthcare costs ALONE...for the 4 of us we were looking at $700- $1000 bucks a month....WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! Mike and I cried and cried, well I cried, he cursed....we just didnt know what we were going to do. Our plans of expanding our family were put on hold, which made me very sad since I feel VERY ready for another baby!!! WHAT should we do???? We could try to both get jobs but we were totally dumping our kids on my parents, and believe me, they dont deserve anything else from me being dumped on them! Even with both of us working full time...we would still struggle...since Mike who is the equivalent of a NURSE PRACTIONER....couldnt even sit in for the EMT BASIC test...wasnt really qualified to do anything else...and over qualififed for alot of things he could do!!!
Well, God has a funny way of making you work for patience....since last wednesday he decided to knock the Navy straight and allow them to let Mike sign his extention....YIPPEE!!! the bad news...we have 9 days to go to wilmington, find a place, pack all our stuff, rent a truck, drive out to wilmington, get settled and send Mike back to work!!! Now i dont care who you are or what your life is like...NOONE CAN MOVE IN 9DAYS!!! my family has done it in 12~~
My mom went with me last weekend to look at places, and we found a GREAT one! Its a townhouse first of all, on a lake with paddle boats, a 5 mile walking trail, bus line access, playground, pool, picnic tables, and a Saturday morning community breakfast cooked by one of the residents who lives there, just to meet your neighbors!!! and it was UNDER our budget!!! Now dont get me wrong, I am very thankful to God that He sent his hand down to help us, but next time....could we not cut it so close, GOD!?!?!?! REALLY??!?!!?!
I am excited to move into our new place, have our own family space, be a mommy again, and try for another baby!!! I am SOOOO VERY SAD to leave charlotte! this city has been my home for almost 20 years, and I cant imagine finding the gems of friends i have here anywhere else.
To all my amazing friends: i love you all! you know who you are, and please know that everyday i will miss your wisdom, love, friendship, guidance, advice, care, fellowship, prayers, and hugs!! There are a few of you who mean more to me than I even have words to describe, and my heart aches for the loniless I know is coming as I move on to better things with my family!!! Please know that you can never be replaced and that God has helped you guide me through some of the most challenging phases of my life, and there is nothing I can ever do to thank you or repay you!!! I love you more than you know!!!
Peace to all...and prayers for our continued love and friendship!!!!
OK back to the story! Mike's contract with the Navy expired April 21, 2010! He tried to switch branches but apparnetly the recruiters we were working with didnt want the bonus of signing people, and just werent moving fast enough! So Mike tried to re-enlist in the Navy for 15 months, pending a promotion and aquiring another FMF pin ( dont ask me what that is beacuse I dont know). WELL, the Navy didnt want to let him do that, simply put, if he didnt achieve both of those things they would have to pay $20,000 BIG ONES come next july!!! I think thats a fair deal!!! I cant even describe the stress we were under, mostly bc of the healthcare costs ALONE...for the 4 of us we were looking at $700- $1000 bucks a month....WHAT!?!?!?!?!?! Mike and I cried and cried, well I cried, he cursed....we just didnt know what we were going to do. Our plans of expanding our family were put on hold, which made me very sad since I feel VERY ready for another baby!!! WHAT should we do???? We could try to both get jobs but we were totally dumping our kids on my parents, and believe me, they dont deserve anything else from me being dumped on them! Even with both of us working full time...we would still struggle...since Mike who is the equivalent of a NURSE PRACTIONER....couldnt even sit in for the EMT BASIC test...wasnt really qualified to do anything else...and over qualififed for alot of things he could do!!!
Well, God has a funny way of making you work for patience....since last wednesday he decided to knock the Navy straight and allow them to let Mike sign his extention....YIPPEE!!! the bad news...we have 9 days to go to wilmington, find a place, pack all our stuff, rent a truck, drive out to wilmington, get settled and send Mike back to work!!! Now i dont care who you are or what your life is like...NOONE CAN MOVE IN 9DAYS!!! my family has done it in 12~~
My mom went with me last weekend to look at places, and we found a GREAT one! Its a townhouse first of all, on a lake with paddle boats, a 5 mile walking trail, bus line access, playground, pool, picnic tables, and a Saturday morning community breakfast cooked by one of the residents who lives there, just to meet your neighbors!!! and it was UNDER our budget!!! Now dont get me wrong, I am very thankful to God that He sent his hand down to help us, but next time....could we not cut it so close, GOD!?!?!?! REALLY??!?!!?!
I am excited to move into our new place, have our own family space, be a mommy again, and try for another baby!!! I am SOOOO VERY SAD to leave charlotte! this city has been my home for almost 20 years, and I cant imagine finding the gems of friends i have here anywhere else.
To all my amazing friends: i love you all! you know who you are, and please know that everyday i will miss your wisdom, love, friendship, guidance, advice, care, fellowship, prayers, and hugs!! There are a few of you who mean more to me than I even have words to describe, and my heart aches for the loniless I know is coming as I move on to better things with my family!!! Please know that you can never be replaced and that God has helped you guide me through some of the most challenging phases of my life, and there is nothing I can ever do to thank you or repay you!!! I love you more than you know!!!
Peace to all...and prayers for our continued love and friendship!!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
E Mealz!!!
I have to say that I am soooooo thrilled with a new Dave ramsey recommendation! Its Emealz.com...and its AWESOME!! it gives you a weekly meal list, a grocery ist of everything you need, and it goes by grocery stores and there weekly circular...HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? its $5 a month...now I must admit that I am a pretty OBSESSED coupon clipper...i love saving money, mostly bc it leaves more to spend on FUN things! I love consgiment stores and finding GREAT stuff for little money! This website has definately saved me time and money!!! I just wanted to recommend it to all my mommy friends!!!Thursday, February 11, 2010
Teacher or Mommy?
We are getting ready to pull Max out of preschool...for a few reasons! One, we might be out of work for a few months while Mike changes jobs, and we really cant afford the $200/month that it costs. Second, we are trying to get out of debt. We have cut back on all our expenses and should be down to the STUPID car ( yes its a stupid car), by Summer!!! YIPPEE!!! Thirdly, we want to homeschool. Max is a creature of habit and I am really worried that he wont adjust to homeschooling after being used to a classroom setting.
All that said, I am also worried that he wont be able to relate to me as teacher and mommy. Mike and I know that homeschooling is whats best for our kids. We know its how God would want us to raise them. We want to protect their innocence from the sex-crazed, defiant, dumbed-down, no-child-left-behind, school systems we know he would be sent to. I have wanted to homeschool my children since college when I did a research paper on the benefits of homeschooling vs public school.
So my question, How do I help Max relate to me as teacher and mommy? How do I teach him and learn at the same time how to fill this role in his life? I must admit I am nervous, and afraid that we might not succeed. But I am also DETERMINED!! I will accept this challenge bc I know in the end, I am doing whats best for HIM!!! I have been looking at different curiculum's online and I am really impressed with the Kolbe academy. I like its design, and I like that they offer supplements too. I am looking into Little Saints preschool curriculum for finishing his preschoool years, but to be honest, Max is way ahead of the game. He knows all his prayers, numbers up to 20, colors by recognition. I dont say this to pat myself on the back( but dont think i havent...wink wink), I say this bc I am afraid I wont be able to teach him and satisfy his yearing for knowledge. He has started asking where places are like India, and the Jungles? How do I explain that to a 3 year old?
Luckily, I have a plethora of moms to choose from for advice. I am sooo blessed to have moms willing to share information and help us moms who are just starting out!
thanks in advance!!!
All that said, I am also worried that he wont be able to relate to me as teacher and mommy. Mike and I know that homeschooling is whats best for our kids. We know its how God would want us to raise them. We want to protect their innocence from the sex-crazed, defiant, dumbed-down, no-child-left-behind, school systems we know he would be sent to. I have wanted to homeschool my children since college when I did a research paper on the benefits of homeschooling vs public school.
So my question, How do I help Max relate to me as teacher and mommy? How do I teach him and learn at the same time how to fill this role in his life? I must admit I am nervous, and afraid that we might not succeed. But I am also DETERMINED!! I will accept this challenge bc I know in the end, I am doing whats best for HIM!!! I have been looking at different curiculum's online and I am really impressed with the Kolbe academy. I like its design, and I like that they offer supplements too. I am looking into Little Saints preschool curriculum for finishing his preschoool years, but to be honest, Max is way ahead of the game. He knows all his prayers, numbers up to 20, colors by recognition. I dont say this to pat myself on the back( but dont think i havent...wink wink), I say this bc I am afraid I wont be able to teach him and satisfy his yearing for knowledge. He has started asking where places are like India, and the Jungles? How do I explain that to a 3 year old?
Luckily, I have a plethora of moms to choose from for advice. I am sooo blessed to have moms willing to share information and help us moms who are just starting out!
thanks in advance!!!
The "Miracle" Bagel!!!
OH my son, my son....I love him but man can he be a challenge, and a blessing all in the same day! I have started taking him to Mass EVERYDAY, bc he seems to think that church is the ONE PLACE he can be on his worst behavior, and mommy and daddy cant really do anything about it until afterwards. Yes, he is that child screaming" dont spank my hieny". as he is being dragged out of Mass. Yes, he is that child banging his feet on the pew during the Consecretion. and Yes he is even that child who sings "Thomas and Friends" during the homily. He slams kneelers, stands on the pew, runs up the aisle, and all of this in an hours time!! SO to fix his behavior, I decied to take him EVERYDAY until he learns, CHURCH IS FOR PRAYING, and if you arent praying, you are going to be respectful of the people who are.
Now I must admit, today my son made me laugh!! He has been behaving better, and rewarded with a few trips out for breakfast after a good morning in Mass. Today he was a little bit bouncy, which he fully admits to now. After Mass, I asked my mom if she would like to go get a bagel. Max said he would like "pampakes", as he calles them, and I informed him that bc of his behavior he was coming but not allowed to get anything. SO we sat down, and I went to order and when I only came back with only 2 cups, Max asked the obvious question: Where is my cup?". Now Im not a mean mom, I had ordered him a blueberry bagel, is favorite, but I was going to enusre that he learned something here. I then explained that "mommy and nonna behaved in Church and therefore we get breakfast, and that bc you couldnt behave mommy didnt get you anything" Well, the water works burst open and he just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed somemore. He couldnt believe that I didnt get him anything, was just heartbroken, which of course i said " I bet next time you will behave in church". 
to which max responded " but I told Him I would have been happier with pampakes"...oh my son!!!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My Bella Baby!
Now that I have a daughter of my own, I am completely lossed in the emotional bond I have made with her. Its not more than what I have with Max, but its definately different. I think I bonded with her much quicker than I did with max, for many reasons, but mostly bc we have alot in common. I know my own experiences will be a major factor in how I raise her, where as with Max, he cant really relate to what I went through. Aside from getting to dress in pink, I never realized HOW girly I was myself, until I had Bella. She has really brought out a hidden side of me that I love. Picking out clothes for her and for me, now matter? WHAT? Who is this person? I was always concerend about what I looked like but realized that being a single parent didnt allow my wardrobe to be ever expanding as I would have liked. With Bella, I was really surprised to have a true calling to being more modest. Not that I dressed to expose myself, but I really want for my example to lead her. I am realizing that had I been more modest in my youth, I would have expected MEN to TREAT ME BETTER! I would have respected exactly how God intented my body to be seen, and would have definately waited for marriage to have sex. Now that I have Bella, I am realizing that how I dress will be her example. How I expect men to treat me, will be how she expects men to treat her. Now understand, I dont expect her to wear a brown sack, and be a nun. I guess I want her to realize that being modest, in the end, will attract a man that likes her for her INTELLECT,PERSONALITY, DEVOTION,FAITH,MORALITY, etc. AlLl the things I always wanted to be respected for, and never actually expected, I can show her how with my own example.
Having a daughter has really opened my eyes to what I should have been doing all along...LISTENING TO MY OWN MOTHER...go figure. I always knew my mom was right but was more comcerned with being a dork, that the state of my soul. I never saw wearing a low cut shirt as leading men into sin...and I would never want Bella to have those things on her soul, without being made aware that it is sinful for her and she is leading others into sin as well. Bella as opened my eyes to a whole new realm of my faith...and I am so glad that I have her to help me lead her by my own example.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I am an ADOPTED BIRTH MOTHER!!!
There are alot of things in life that some people are just much better off not knowing... I think I have finally discovered the reason God sent my life on a drasctic turn in 2003.
I have just returned from the March for life in Washington, D.C., and I am more than speechless as to the experience of seeing hundreds of thousands of people standing up for the RIGHT of all babies to LIFE outside the womb!!! I was honored to march along side people of all ages, faiths, ethnicities, backgrounds, and countries (* yes there were people there from Australia and France bc they dont have anything like this is their native countries), and make known that " a person is a person, no matter how small".(horton hears a who) For those of you who dont know, I am adopted. Not just me, but my brother and sister as well. Its been amazing looking back at my life, and realizing that I could have not been here. That my birth mother didnt have to make the choice she did. I sit in awe of the AMAZING power of God bc He HAND PICKED me to be born for my parents. I have such love for my birth mother, a woman named Johanna that I have never met, Bc she had the courage and the guts to STAND UP for me, when my voice couldnt be heard. She had the faith to know that she wasnt ready to be a parent, and SELFLESSLY gave a piece of her heart away to people she didnt know, ALL FOR ME, so that I could have the chance to become someone! THere are no words big enough or GREAT enough to say "thank you". I am who I am in big part to her, and in big part to my parents, who waited 12 years to get me!!!
Now for my story.
At 17 years old, I was a freshman in college and SOOOOO not ready to be away from home and have the freedoms that being away at college brings. I was a partier to the fullest extent. I gave up on school, and focused on what party I was going to and WHO I was going home with. Needless to say, that lasted about 6 weeks before a pretty little +sign appeared on my pee stick. *now as a side note here: the last 2 things my parents said to me, jokingly, were dont call us and tell us you are pregnant, and dont call us from jail bc we are NOT coming to get you.* So, I wrote them an email. CAN YOU IMAGINE waking up to reading an email like that. I knew the day I found out I was pregant that I wasnt ready to be a parentt, although I knew that was what God was calling me to be, eventually...I knew this baby was not meant to be mine. How did I know? BC of my own birth mother, who knew I wasnt meant to be hers either! I told my parents in that email that I was going to give the baby up for adoption. I knew the blessing this baby would bring to a family who went through the same struggle to have kids as my parents did. It was an honor in the end. Joseph Michael Rigel was born June 23, 2003! He was the most awesome thing I had ever laid eyes on. PERFECT in everyway, but not mine! I remember those 2 days in the hospital after he was born and I never let him go! I loved Him like my own, knowing that he wasnt going to be. I dreaded what was going to happen to me in just 2 short days, probably much like Jesus dreaded what He knew was going to happen to Him, yet He did it anyway, and gave me strength too! After 7 days in foster care, I laid eyes on this AMAZING little boy for the last time...I was the one who put him in his mothers arms. I say the tears of joy that fell from her cheeks in apprecation for the gift of Life I had given to them. IT MADE EVERY HEART WRENCHING MOMENT to come...WORTH IT!!! I saw in her eyes the joy and healing that comes from DOING THE RIGHT THING! I saw in that moment, the happiness and fulfillment of doing God's will above my own...and it paid off BIG TIME!!
I will never regret my decision to give Joseph up for adoption, nor was abortion ever an option for me. I know that there are thousands of women faced everyday with the decision I made, and I know how they feel. ALONE, SCARED, BETRAYED! they sit in the abortion clinics all across this GREAT counrty of ours thinking how did I get here?, wondeirng if someone BRAVE ENOUGH is going to walk through the door, and save them from the LIFETIME of REGRET they are about to embark on. I WILL BE THAT PERSON!!! I am no longer AFRAID of sharing my story, and I want the world to know that GREAT THINGS COME FROM DOING WHAT GOD EXPECTS of us!!
I was rewarded for my decision. I have 2 great kids who I love, and I have a great relationship with Josephs parents. I think someday soon I will meet the young man who grew in my womb, and I will cry tears of joy!!!
I know he will hold a special place in my heart FOREVER bc he saved my life, and bc HE is one of a few who know what my heart sounds like from the inside... and thats something I wont ever forget!!!
I have just returned from the March for life in Washington, D.C., and I am more than speechless as to the experience of seeing hundreds of thousands of people standing up for the RIGHT of all babies to LIFE outside the womb!!! I was honored to march along side people of all ages, faiths, ethnicities, backgrounds, and countries (* yes there were people there from Australia and France bc they dont have anything like this is their native countries), and make known that " a person is a person, no matter how small".(horton hears a who) For those of you who dont know, I am adopted. Not just me, but my brother and sister as well. Its been amazing looking back at my life, and realizing that I could have not been here. That my birth mother didnt have to make the choice she did. I sit in awe of the AMAZING power of God bc He HAND PICKED me to be born for my parents. I have such love for my birth mother, a woman named Johanna that I have never met, Bc she had the courage and the guts to STAND UP for me, when my voice couldnt be heard. She had the faith to know that she wasnt ready to be a parent, and SELFLESSLY gave a piece of her heart away to people she didnt know, ALL FOR ME, so that I could have the chance to become someone! THere are no words big enough or GREAT enough to say "thank you". I am who I am in big part to her, and in big part to my parents, who waited 12 years to get me!!!
Now for my story.
At 17 years old, I was a freshman in college and SOOOOO not ready to be away from home and have the freedoms that being away at college brings. I was a partier to the fullest extent. I gave up on school, and focused on what party I was going to and WHO I was going home with. Needless to say, that lasted about 6 weeks before a pretty little +sign appeared on my pee stick. *now as a side note here: the last 2 things my parents said to me, jokingly, were dont call us and tell us you are pregnant, and dont call us from jail bc we are NOT coming to get you.* So, I wrote them an email. CAN YOU IMAGINE waking up to reading an email like that. I knew the day I found out I was pregant that I wasnt ready to be a parentt, although I knew that was what God was calling me to be, eventually...I knew this baby was not meant to be mine. How did I know? BC of my own birth mother, who knew I wasnt meant to be hers either! I told my parents in that email that I was going to give the baby up for adoption. I knew the blessing this baby would bring to a family who went through the same struggle to have kids as my parents did. It was an honor in the end. Joseph Michael Rigel was born June 23, 2003! He was the most awesome thing I had ever laid eyes on. PERFECT in everyway, but not mine! I remember those 2 days in the hospital after he was born and I never let him go! I loved Him like my own, knowing that he wasnt going to be. I dreaded what was going to happen to me in just 2 short days, probably much like Jesus dreaded what He knew was going to happen to Him, yet He did it anyway, and gave me strength too! After 7 days in foster care, I laid eyes on this AMAZING little boy for the last time...I was the one who put him in his mothers arms. I say the tears of joy that fell from her cheeks in apprecation for the gift of Life I had given to them. IT MADE EVERY HEART WRENCHING MOMENT to come...WORTH IT!!! I saw in her eyes the joy and healing that comes from DOING THE RIGHT THING! I saw in that moment, the happiness and fulfillment of doing God's will above my own...and it paid off BIG TIME!!
I will never regret my decision to give Joseph up for adoption, nor was abortion ever an option for me. I know that there are thousands of women faced everyday with the decision I made, and I know how they feel. ALONE, SCARED, BETRAYED! they sit in the abortion clinics all across this GREAT counrty of ours thinking how did I get here?, wondeirng if someone BRAVE ENOUGH is going to walk through the door, and save them from the LIFETIME of REGRET they are about to embark on. I WILL BE THAT PERSON!!! I am no longer AFRAID of sharing my story, and I want the world to know that GREAT THINGS COME FROM DOING WHAT GOD EXPECTS of us!!
I was rewarded for my decision. I have 2 great kids who I love, and I have a great relationship with Josephs parents. I think someday soon I will meet the young man who grew in my womb, and I will cry tears of joy!!!
I know he will hold a special place in my heart FOREVER bc he saved my life, and bc HE is one of a few who know what my heart sounds like from the inside... and thats something I wont ever forget!!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Welcome to our PARTY!!
Now for the rest of our gang.Max, who is 3 years old, is the best big brother EVER! He is a little rough around the edges, but we wouldnt have hm any other way! Max became a big brother for the first time this past November. Along with that change, he also started preschool 3 days a week. He seems to love it, and so does mommy. I enjoy the quiet mornings and it also allows me to be more productive since i dont have to entertain him. He is a sweet boy at heart, but the 3rd year of his life hasnt been the easiet for him. We are learning to understand our temper, and WHY God really gave us ears...the tantrums were getting ridiculous. He is a nerdy nature kid when outside, which has really surprised Mike and I. He lovesa to learn about flowers and bugs, where trees come from, and digging up worms. He loves puddles, and riding his bike, which he just learned to pedal on as he out grew it ...KIDS! He has a great interest in Thomas the tank Engine...which inferiates me b/c I can NOT stand it. It teaches a good lesson but if i have to listen to that theme song one more time, im going to pull my hair out. We have limited TV time to one hour a day...if he is on his best behavior! He challenges us everyday in the patience department , but I know that God will never give me more than I can handle, so I am learning patience through Max..what a blessing!!
Our newest addition is ISABELLA NAOMI. She was born the day before thanksgiving, we are sooooo thankful for her! She weighed in at 8lbs 1oz, and had some trouble in the beginning gaining weight, but now is about 12.5lbs and growing like a weed. She has a great mix of both mike and I , although I see much more of mike and his sister ,Christina, than I do of me. She started smiling and talking back at you this past week, and it just reminds me of the true miracle of life. I cant wait to have more, but for now we are enjoying Bella where she is!
Just a bit of insight and introduction into our world! thanks for reading, and hope to continue keeping everyone updated on whats going on! Next up, Bella's Baptism, Homeschooling, and my new hobby...Sewing!!
the mayo's
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