expectations

lately i have been in a very contemplative state of mind. Ive been thinking about friendships, relationships, seeing the Christ in others on a daily basis, and how these things form our expectations of others. I wonder often how I place these things on other people, and am I expecting too much out of people. I know a lot of times in my marriage i find myself expecting my husband to "just know" what I need or even what needs to be done. I find that often i do a very bad job of communicating my needs and for some reason EXPECT others to just know whats in my head. Worst of all, I get upset when others don't meet the expectations I have placed on them and they don't even know I have the expectation in the first place.

i blogged a bit ago about how my fulfillment should always come from the Lord, and as I grow closer to Him I am finding that alot of the reason I don't have friends is that my expectations for them to be the prefect friend, often get in the way of true friendship. I expect them to get invited to every event. i expect them to know what hurts my feelings, and when my feelings are hurt, i expect them to know that they did it. I have noticed over the last year that i have lost several friends, and often bc I just didn't communicate my expectations to them the way I should. Or i waited until i had been hurt time and time again, and then EXPLODED in a sea of anger and harshness, that was really uncalled for. I ask myself...if Jesus had been standing there next to me, what would He have instructed me to do with those feelings????

i think He would have expected to me forgive ( what is it 70x70 times). He would have expected to keep my expectations in check, and that even if my feelings were truly hurt..to let that person still see His glory through me. I have done a horrible job of that this month. HORRIBLE. Yes, i know we are only human, but aren't the people i explode upon only human too?? aren't the people that i have these ridiculous expectations on only human too?? why do i have this sense of entitlement that people should just know what does or does not hurt my feelings?? where did this come from?

I an truly humbled by a certain group of friends that have loved me despite my erratic behavior. They have truly shown me the Christ in them, and have reminded me of what i need to let others see in me. they are not perfect, and i am learning to except that about our imperfect human nature. I am learning to have manageable and meetable expectations, not just with my friends, but with my children, my husband, and myself. i have set reasonable goals for all of us and I can only hope that the people I have hurt can forgive me for my actions. I love learning with Christ's gentle guiding hand beside me...i find that learning through his guidance doesn't hurt or require as much pain as it does when I try to do it myself.

THAT took me a long time to learn.

Feast of the Immaculate Conception 2011

I have been trying for MONTHS now to mamage to get a FEAST DAY actually celebrated in my house. Advent has been ok...we are trying...

I did manage to orgainze and plan for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception...just a few things we did.
During our monring prayer, we prayed/sang 3 extra Hail Marys, and the "Ave Maria". We also ate blueberry scones and blueberry smoothies for breakfast in honor of Mary. We have so much fun!!!

Hope your feast day was Blessed, and as lovely as ours was!!!

ok Lord, I hear you...

LOUD AND CLEAR....

I am so blessed with AMAZING, CATHOLIC women in my life. I have been so uplifted, encouraged, humbled, and astounded at what the Lord has revealed to me this week. I know I have a purpose in this life, and I feel ready to tackle it...head on. ( Lord, please keep me motivated to you your will)

I have, for a while now, felt a general withdrawal from the secular world. I wasn't sure why at first, but slowly over time, God has revealed to me a new path in my life. I have always believed that the Lord, knew my passions, and He knew my wants, but this is the first time I have felt him moving me towards something I have a passion for. I am so thankful for so many reasons.

First, I am thankful that he always knows exactly what I need. He knew I need to withdraw a bit from how I was living my life in order to truly hear Him speaking to me. He knew that I needed to nurture my Catholic friendships as this would guide me closer to Him, and join my will to His. He knew that this would take time, which it has because I am truly stubborn. He also knew I wouldn't have listened if I had the distraction of " social media" keeping me back.

Second, I am EVERLASTINGLY thankful for all the little( OK maybe they aren't little) dots along my journey in this life. There have been years of wondering what all the trials, tribulations, joys and sorrows have been for , and I feel now that He is LIVING in my heart, they all have purpose. They have meaning. They have a voice, and its a voice that He is calling me to share with others. I truly feel grateful for each and every one of them, and I didn't know this feeling was possible. I know they have ALL been part of His eternal plan for me, and completely understand how He wants me to use them.

Third, I am thankful these experiences all GLORIFY the Lord. They, simply put, testify to God's almighty plan for each person in this world...if we choose to live it. I am humbled that the Lord trusted me with these experiences that I can now turn around and use them to GLORIFY HIS HOLY NAME!!!

Finally, i am grateful for God's unwavering love for me, this imperfect human. I am honored that He sent His only Son so that I could live eternally in His loving arms...

I ask for your prayers as I embark on what I'm sure will be an amazing journey... and ask only for encouragement along the way.